The term “codependent” was originally coined to describe the partners of active alcoholics. The thinking being that these people – usually women – were literally dependent on their alcoholic husbands for their livelihoods, and were therefore forced to endure the fallout from their addictions, be it violence and emotional abuse, or financial issues.
Nina’s book shows how this dynamic has both endured and evolved over the decades, and anybody who has been in a close relationship with somebody engaged in substance abuse, will see so much of themselves in her story—a story which we don’t hear often enough. In this episode we discuss:
-The ripple-effect of addiction and how it impacts our families, friendships, and other relationships.
-Nina’s definition of codependency, and how we lose ourselves trying to fix or help others.
-Codependency as another expression of alcoholism.
-The gendering of codependency being rooted in women’s historical material dependency on men.
-Sobriety as a feminist issue.
-Focusing on another person’s problems as a way of bypassing your own.
-How love addiction can mirror the feelings and experiences of addiction to substances.
-Nina’s experiences of the 12-step program in Al-Anon.
-“People pleasing” and how always being there for others stops us even knowing what WE want.
-The healthiest way to help people who are struggling with substance abuse.
-The meaning of the term “emotional incest” – and its role in codependent family dynamics.
-Finding peace with her guilt about exposing her kids to her former partner’s drug abuse.
Get your copy of Good Morning Destroyer of Men’s Souls by Nina Renata Aron HERE.
This episode is supported by Lyres non-alcoholic spirits. Visit lyres.co/sobercurious and subscribe for 15% off.
Thanks also to Monument—personalized online support to change your drinking. Visit joinmonument.com for plans and pricing.